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The Adjustment Phase

Let’s Make Some Noise

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 It’s been awhile since I last blogged.  Here’s a summary of events for anyone interested, I finally had my PET scan approved and was able to get that done on December 23.  Results weren’t horrible..oncologist said he is, “cautiously optimistic”, so that is a positive.  There was some evidence of healing in several areas of my spine with one spot larger in my cervical, (neck), area. Radiologist and Dr. Gitau both felt it could be healing also instead of progression.  We hope to repeat the scan in 2-3 months, depending on what BCBS and their pencil pushing monkeys decide is needed. I suggested going up to the recommended dosage on my oral chemo from 400-600mg to hit it a little harder and Dr. Gitau very much agreed on that idea.  I initially started on that dose but it bottomed out my neutrophils and white blood cells putting me at high risk of infection. I just completed my first 3 week cycle on that dose and made it through!  I will have labs on Tuesday to see how it affected my count
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Mind, Body, Spirit

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When too many things start bouncing around in my head…I know it is time to get them put someplace.  Sometimes I talk about the things, sometimes I stuff the worries deep down where no one can see them, sometimes I cry at night while my family sleeps.  Because, here’s the thing…this is damn hard. So, today, I am going to write the things.  One week ago I came down with a “cold”.  Knowing that I have a compromised immune system, I took the weekend as downtime and rested.  But what works for a regular old garden variety immune system no longer seems to work for mine.  I went from a cold to becoming a full blown disgusting mucus factory, leaving a trail of Kleenex and blankets in every location I happened to land.  I finally called oncology and went in.  They checked labs and suggested I maybe stop the chemo pills half way through this round. Of course that comes with it’s own set of worries, so I opted to stay strong and stick it out.  2 days later I was sitting at my provider’s office th
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Curiouser and Curiouser

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 I found out I had cancer the first time four years ago while sitting in the Dairy Queen parking lot eating an ice cream cone.  I decided to check results in My Chart while I was taking a snack break in between errands. “Malignant Neoplasm of the Left Breast” Wait, What? I immediately called The breast clinic and they told me someone would give me a call back shortly.  Within 10 minutes I had a care coordinator on the line giving me all kinds of next step information.  I would have a team of 3 oncologists, one main medical oncologist, a radiation oncologist, and a surgeon.  Appointments would be popping up within days to make a game plan.  That time, I went with a lumpectomy followed by 16-20 rounds of radiation.  The exact number escapes me now.  Everything functioned like a well oiled machine.  I met my team, was given a binder with all kinds of information on my type of cancer, treatment options, what to expect, who to call when and for what…everything was laid out for me.  I felt s
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Sonya Renae, the younger years

When smacked in the face with your own mortality you start doing a lot of thinking.  I have been going over my life and shaking my head at some of the decisions I made along the way and applauding myself for others.  We do what we can with what we have at the time.  I always had good intentions, sometimes my own naive young mind got me on the wrong path, sometimes it was my alcoholism, and sometimes I was just foolish. But all those experiences, the good and the bad made me who I am right now.   So many memories have started coming back to me. Not sure if that is just what happens with a diagnosis such as this or if my slower pace of living, gives my brain time to remember.   I can remember the smell of my grandma Inez’s house.  I remember her cupboards and how they smelled of wood varnish. I remember her baking what seemed like endless apple pies from scratch using apples off her backyard tree.  I remember my aunt Melanie’s room like I was just there yesterday.  It was my favorite roo
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Gratitude is a powerful thing

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I have now completed 2 rounds of chemo.  The new Mayo recommended drug, Kisqali, is going well.  Side effects are manageable and consist mostly of fatigue and some evening digestive mayhem.  The chemo dropped my white count and neutrophils so I am cautious not to go anyplace crowded or knowingly be in close contact with anyone that is ill. This round I decided to make our kids and parents the inner circle.  So far that is working.  Hopefully my next blog entry isn’t from a bed at Sanford.  The larger battle with a diagnosis such as this, at least for me, has been getting to that point of acceptance.  Acceptance that life has changed in a big way and that those visions of retirement, traveling and growing older with the most supportive, considerate, bad ass humanitarian husband a hippie girl could hope for probably won’t happen. I mean he lets me take in all these special needs pets…and now I am starting with aquariums and fish.  I am pretty sure I could bring a cow home and he would le
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The Right Way, The Wrong Way, and The Mayo Way

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I have officially been diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer since June 8 of this year.  So much for summer, right? Breast cancer is an entity all of it’s own.  There are so many subtypes plus the grade and stage for each individual person.  My cancer is estrogen positive. 91%.  I am slightly progesterone positive, and HER 2 negative.  That is partially how they determine which drugs to use for each person.  There is now another fairly new test that is basically a blood biopsy.  These microscopic tiny cancer cells just flow around in my body until they decide to settle somewhere and continue to grow.  Mine settled in many of my bones.  They have been wreaking havoc in my spine, femurs, hips, pelvis, and possibly my arms and lower legs, but they don’t scan those areas.  Why?  I have not a clue.  So, once your type and location and stage and grade are determined then your oncologist will decide on the best treatment plan for you.  I have an amazing team at Roger Maris. Dr. Mark Gitau and his tea
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How Did We Get Here??

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 The Adjustment period.  That is what we will call this stage of our journey with this bitch named Cancer. I was officially diagnosed sometime back in July after I came upon a doctor who actually listened to me and heard my complaints of horrible nighttime leg pain and knew something was going on. And actually, the one that figured it out wasn’t even an MD at a top notch facility.  It was Katie Banley, NP at Family Healthcare.  I first met Katie when taking one of my trafficking survivors for treatment at Family Healthcare.  I immediately liked her energy and confirmed she was a good choice with my friend Tara who is a nurse at Homeless Health and one of the people I most admire and love in this world. Through experience with my daughter’s battles with chronic pancreatitis, I have come to dislike many things about Sanford and avoid the big healthcare conglomerates whenever possible. Katie said right away, “I don’t like it Sonya, not with your history of breast cancer.  We are going to
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